Impending
by foreverinlove17
Summary: This is an AU Twilight, What would have happened if Edward hadn’t made it in time to save Bella from Tyler’s van during Twilight. What if the only way to save her was to change her?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Starting up a new story, So far I am going to name it Impending the title is subject to change, if it does I will make sure to write it in an Author's Note. I haven't written enough to have an awesome title. So sorry. I will try to get the next chapter out later tonight. Read and review if you please. Enjoy reading. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon; all characters belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. **

Life will flash before my eyes  
so scattered and lost  
I want to touch the other side  
and no one thinks they are to blame  
Why can't we see  
That when we bleed we bleed the same

The fire, the pain, the intense feeling of my body splitting in to two parts was imaginable. I thought I could hear voices calling, I thought I could hear people saying my name but there was nothing, nothing but emptiness, nothing but this pain that just refused to go away. I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. I felt as if fire had been poured down my throat. I tried to raise my hand to my throat to soothe out the words but once again I was met with intense pain. The sound of my bones cracking met my ears. I closed my eyes trying to fight back the tears that were profusely streaming down my face. I couldn't take it anymore, I had to get out, and I had to stop the pain. I started trashing my arms around, and the cracking sound of my bones breaking filled the air once more. I felt a deep rumble in the base of my throat that continuously built up till it reached the tip of my tongue, it wanted to be let loose, and I had to let it loose. I opened my to hear a sound emit from my body that I didn't think was even possible, it rocked my body to the core. What was going on? What was happening to me? My heart sped up significantly I could hear the muscle thumping against my chest, and then it slowed. The beats became spread out, my breathe became more ragged as I struggled to get air into my lungs. The air only added to the flames in my throat, with every inhale another stab of pain entered my body. My hand instinctively reached up to my chest as I felt the beats get slower and slower. The pain was so intense now, I wasn't sure my body could take much more. I could hear the blood pacing through my veins. This was it, this was the end, a sudden surge of pain hit directly in my heart. The force was so intense I sat up abruptly, before falling back down. I could feel my body convulsing, blood escaping my lips, and then there was nothing. There was no pain; the sound of my heart was non existent. My eyes slowly flickered open, and staring back at me were seven pairs of topaz eyes.

Fear and panic in the air  
I want to be free  
from desolation and despair  
And I feel like everything I saw  
is being swept away  
when I refuse to let you go

**Lyrics are by Muse, Map of the Problematique. Thanks for reading and Review if you please. Sorry if the change scene wasn't realistic, I tried.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hope you guys like it. I am trying to be original but I don't quite know how well that is working for me. Enjoy reading and review if you please**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any characters of Twilight or New Moon. All characters of both stories belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

This chaos, this calamity, this garden once was perfect  
Give your immortality to me; I'll set you up against the stars

I closed my eyes and quickly reopened them hoping they were just trying to shake off dreams from the previous night, but they still stood there, their eyes boring in my face, analyzing my body. I felt quite self conscious and took to staring at the wall.

The clarity in which my eyes saw was unbelievable to me. The wall took on a completely new meaning, before it was just something that kept people separate but now if I were to look at it I could see every single brush stroke the painter had put on the wall. I could see the intricate details, the technique at which the painter had chosen to use.

The sound of a bird chirping rung loudly in my ears, it was almost painful. I wondered why this place would allow such loud animals to permit its walls, but I didn't bother asking.

There was a distinctive feeling in the back of my throat, it burned and it itched. I quietly attempted to clear my throat to make the irritation go away but it only succeeded in making it worst. I was desperately in need of a glass of water, but due to the awkward situation I put my thirst needs on the back burner. I needed questions to be answered. My curiosity was sparked. Why was I here? What was that intense pain that my body had just gone through? Was this hell? I guess I could understand if it was my hell, I had never been one for attention and spending the rest of my days with seven gorgeous people staring at me and never letting their eyes stop roaming my body could definitely be considered hell to me.

The burning in sensation in my throat continued to get stronger. My throat began to feel as if it was swelling shut on me, as if I wouldn't be able to breathe in a few moments. I slowly raised my hand to my throat and rubbed circles right below my chin hoping it would make the irritation pass. I attempted to clear my throat once again and the air that passed through my lungs only irritated the ever rising flame more.

I closed my eyes tightly and began to hope and I have never been a religious person but I began to pray. I began to pray that this truly wasn't hell, that this was just a horrible dream that I would awaken any moment now with cold sweat running down my forehead and the sound of pattering rain against my window panes. I needed to wake up, this truly couldn't be real, but I knew it was a long shot; my mind wouldn't let me rid the remembrance of the pain I had just been through. The burning sensation, my last few breathes, would forever be seared into my mind.

The burning in the back of my throat now felt like a blow torch had been set on high and left to sit. I couldn't take it anymore it was so to much, this wasn't like any throat ache I had ever felt before. I opened my mouth and let out a blood curdling scream.

My own voice sounded foreign to me, it was musical, even throughout the screaming it still sounded unique, and beautiful. I felt strong, cool hands enclose my mouth and other hands encase my wrists into a tight grip. What was going on? I began to thrash wildly. Why were these people holding me down? What had they done to me?

My ears were met with a soothing voice "Bella you are going to have to calm down. I can explain everything if you just calm down. I can help you get rid of the pain; I just need you to listen to me."

I willed my body to stop thrashing and instantly felt the restraints on my mouth and arms weaken. I recognized the two men letting me go as Emmett Cullen and Jasper Hale. What could I have possibly be doing at the Cullen's' house?

The girl I had to come to know as Alice, while in my short stay at Forks, came and sat down next to me. She shot both boys a reassuring look before they finally backed off and went to stand else where in the room.

She grabbed my hand into hers and squeezed tightly. I couldn't say that I wasn't shocked by her affection. After all these were people I barely knew yet I have awoken in their home after suffering immense pain, to find my self with a burning throat, and being restrained by two rather large men.

The older man who had talked before turned to Alice with a concerned look upon his face. "Alice is she going to be okay?"

The small, jet black haired girl closed her eyes and with her free hand rubbed small circles against her temples. When she reopened her eyes she gave me a smile, her teeth glittered in the low light of the room. I could tell by the way the smile was that it was not her normal smile; it looked as if it was a smile of sympathy and hope. The type of smile you receive when you are attending the wake of a family member and people are trying to bring up your moods, but they understand that only you can bring yourself true happiness and you will have to grieve on your own.

Her musical voice rang through the room "Yes Carlisle she will be fine, it will take time, but she should be fine."

Everyone in the room sighed in relief, it felt as if the tension in the air had finally been cut and the room was now filled with anticipation and nerves. I began to feel calm as if I had spent the day with my mom during her yoga class phase.

The older man began to talk again, "Bella my name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen and as you have met these are my children. Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper," he pointed to each as he said their name and I simply nodded my head in acknowledgement. "This was is my wife Esme." He grabbed the hand of a beautiful women who looked as if she could not be a day older than 26. "As you have probably realized you have gone through some changes." He waited for a response but I did not answer, I was listening intently, my curiosity was sparked again. "You have entered our family in unpleasant circumstances but I hope that we can accommodate you as best as possible."

Mr. Cullen's talking was not helping me figure out the situation anymore. I finally opened my mouth to talk, the sudden intake of air set my throat on fire again, and I could see worry and concern pass through their eyes. I cleared my throat slightly and parted my lips again to talk "I don't mean to be rude sir, but can you please tell me what has happened to me."

The eyes in the room all flickered to Carlisle; it was obvious that they all had an unending respect for the man. "Bella you have become a vampire."

As soon as the words left his mouth the only thing my body allowed me to do was double over and laughter.

The sea is wine red  
this is the death of beauty  
the doves have died  
the lovers have lied

**The lyrics are from Wine Red by The Hush Sound. Thanks for reading and review if you please. **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Three chapters in two days :). I am going to update Couldn't let go tomorrow I reread the chapter and didn't like it so there was major changes. Also Bella will have a power I thought it up, it's rather original I have yet to see anyone else use it, it will be revealed next chapter. Review if you please and enjoy reading. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon; all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

_O I straighten myself out;  
I bring me back down,  
"Don't be ridiculous,  
you are so wrong."  
But then I'm drifting,  
on a wave of thought.  
I get lost in the tides,  
and I can barely recognize myself._

The laughter coursed through my body, and I was on the edge of hysteria. I looked around the room to see the rest of the Cullens still staring at me with a look of concern and worry in their eyes.

I instantly felt embarrassed and wondered why the normal feel of heat rushing to my ever blushing cheeks wasn't apparent. The look on their faces, the absence of my blush, made me think was it possible? Could they really be vampires, I looked into Carlisle's eyes for anything, any type of hint that this was just some type of joke, that it was a misunderstanding.

My laughter had finally stopped; the room was filled with a heart pounding silence. "You aren't joking, are you?"

"No, Bella I am afraid not."

"I thought things as vampires don't exist, they can't exist, it is not possible." I shook my head trying to make sense of the situation. "This can't be happening, why are you doing this to me? Please, just let me go home."

I rose my head and looked into all of their eyes, the all looked away ashamed. Edward seemed to be the most pained, his eyes held an internal battle and then an instant it was gone, but his eyes never lost contact with mine. "Please, just let me go home, please."

This time Edward spoke to me "You can't go home Bella. You wouldn't be accepted back, you have to listen to us, and you have to understand." His eyes were begging for me to understand, to just let them explain.

I sighed and place my head in my hands. Alice began to run smooth circles on my back. "So you mean to tell me... I am a...vampire." The word sounded strange on the edge of my lips and tongue.

"Yes, Bella you are a vampire."

"Will I be able to see my family again?" My voice was quite and pained. The question to me was pivotal. My parents and Phil were the only people who had ever been constants in my life and the thought of possibly not being able to see them again was painstaking.

"No," his voice held remorse.

I tried to fight back the tears that had formed a habit of sliding down my face but I couldn't. The thought of never getting to say goodbye was too much pain. I could fear the tears gathering near the edges of my eyes, but they never feel. "Why? Why can't I see my parents?" At uttering the word parents I burst into a fit of sobs, I raised my hand to wipe the tears away, but there was nothing there. There wasn't even the trace of wetness that signified they had been previously present.

"Why can't I cry? Why can't I see my parents?" They all stood around again, not daring to answer. My voice became louder with each passing moment. "Please tell me, someone tell me why." They flinched at the volume of my voice and it indeed hurt my own ears but I didn't care I need to know the answers. I need to know why?

Alice took the initiative to answer my questions this time "We can't cry, as vampires we can't cry, we can't sleep, we can't eat food. You can't see your parents because they wouldn't recognize you, they wouldn't be able to tell who you were, and even if they did they would become suspicious when you never aged."

I wanted to understand. I wanted to just grasp what they were saying, but it was too much, this couldn't be real. I began to hit myself on the side of the head, begging for myself to wake up. "Will I get to say goodbye?"

"It's best you not see them at all, it will only make things harder." I paused for a moment trying to grasp the concept they had just given me. I closed my eyes, laid back on the couch, and took a deep breathe.

As soon as the air passed through the passageways of my throat, my eyes flew open; my hands raced up to my throat and began to claw at the sides of my neck. "Water, please I need water."

I closed my eyes again, squeezing them as tight as possible. I gripped Alice's hand into mine and squeezed so hard, I was positive I was going to break one of her bones. "What's the pain in my throat I feel? How can I fix it please?"

"You are feeling thirst. Your body needs blood."

My face looked horror stricken. I was a vampire, I was going to have to drink blood, and I would have to kill humans. I would have to take innocent lives to survive. "I have to kill someone." My voice was distant not the one I had become accustomed to.

"It is your choice, if you plan on staying with my family than no, we abstain from human blood, our food source is animals. However, they are people like us who choose not to drink from animals. Not many of our kind can abstain from human blood, and building up tolerance is an uphill struggle."

I notice eyes in the room flicker towards Jasper and Edward. I looked into Edward's eyes to see that they were no longer the golden topaz I had seen in them before, they were red, red like the color of blood. I let out a gasp and he looked away, ashamed.

I began to understand why I wasn't allow to see Charlie or Renee and the simple knowledge of possibly hurting them was enough to warn me that I would have to stay away from them.

Alice's eyes closed for a moment and then flickered back open. "I will take her hunting, you guys pack. I cannot see what will happen about the treaty, the future is unsure."

In an instant the room came to life, Jasper, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle all left the room in a speed I had not known before. I could still here them though, I heard Esme dial the buttons on the telephone downstairs calling to get plane tickets. I heard Jasper speaking to someone on the phone about getting a passport for me and I heard Carlisle calling the hospital to inform them that there was a family emergency and they would have to make arrangements for him to leave within the week.

My heard flickered up to Alice, who gave me another of one her sympathy smiles. "I can hear them Alice, I can hear everything, is that normal for our kind?" The word vampire still sounded unfamiliar to me and I did not want to use it.

"Yes, Bella we have extensive hearing, along with sight, and smell. I will explain more lately, but first we have to take care of your thirst issue. A new born can be ravenous and we don't need anymore accidents and attention."

She stood and grabbed my hand and began to lead my out of the room. My thoughts were too mixed and jumbled for me to really take notice of my surroundings and before I knew it we were outside in the cool night's air.

The scent of flowers, grass, pine trees, and rain filled my nostrils. I had never truly appreciated Forks for its beauty until now. I could feel every droplet of rain that cascaded down my body; I could hear and smell the rain hitting the spruce in the corner of the yard. Everything seemed so unique, so beautiful, it was breathtaking.

I let in a gasp of air, and the fire returned. My mind reminded me why we were out here, not to stare at the leaves or the grass, not to smell the atmosphere but for blood, to quench my thirst, to make me feel better.

_And I turn my back,_

_And I don't look back._

_I am unafraid._

_But really I'm Just kidding._

_I'm terrified._

_And I think I like it._

**A/N: Yes Bella's reaction is different because she is not yet in love with Edward; she hasn't had any suspicions about them being vampires, so this is the first she has heard of this. Hope you liked lyrics are from Effortless by Allison Crowe. Review if you please. **


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N.: This is short, I know, but it is the best I can right now. I am currently being overwhelmed with thoughts for my own story so my fan fictions have not been coming so easily. I hope you guys enjoy it. Enjoy reading and review if you please.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Twilight or New Moon characters; all characters belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer.**

_How fast we burn!  
How fast we cry!  
The more we learn,  
the more we die_

As we ventured farther into the forest my senses started to call out to me, if it was possible things became sharper. I became more aware. Alice's movements became more angelic yet dangerous. Her small frame was stalking through the forest her head every once and a while reaching up to the sky and inhaling the scent all around her.

I realized just how truly beautiful the Cullen's were, I began to wonder about my own appearance. The rain slowly slipped off Alice's face and her head snapped to the right. I turned my head in the same direction inhaling as deeply as I could and I smelled it.

The sound was the loudest in the forest, the heart thumping against its chest, the air pulsing through its lungs. The delicious liquid that was flowing through its veins, I could hear and smell everything.

My body took off before recognition could even take place. I never touched a branch my body moved gracefully and fluidly around any obstacles in its way. I had to get to it; I had to see what this creature was. What could make me act in such a manner?

The back of my throat began to burn profusely as I got closer and closer to the source of torture. I broke through the clearing my head whipped to the left as I saw it, it was nothing but a doe; a helpless deer enjoying what seemed to be her lunch.

The sound came from my lips before I even knew what happened and the familiar sound of bones crunching reached my ears, and then I felt it, I smelt it. The blood, the luscious liquid that my body craved so, was slowly trickling down my throat and pumping itself through my veins. The wind blew, and while my teeth were still sunk deep into the animals flesh, I was hit with the scent again, the painfully agonizing scent.

I released the departed animal from my deadly embrace and bounded through the forest again. The burning sensation seemed to have only intensified after having my first taste, I need more, and I craved more. My senses led me to the next animal quickly but this time it was more personal, I slowed myself, I savored the taste of the liquid that I craved as it flowed freely down my throat.

I could feel the heart quicken with fear and the slowly began to fade as the blood reached my mouth. I could hear the sound of the blood rushing to the puncture wound, and then I could hear the heart fighting against the impending death, the struggle was terrfying but exhilarating.

I stood to find more, two wasn't enough, no I needed more. I turned to head deeper into the forest when I felt Alice's presence near me. She approached my side slowly, her eyes a light butterscotch color. She gently grabbed my wrist and started leading me away from the woods, but we couldn't go yet, I needed more.

I tried releasing myself from her grip, but she only pulled harder. "Come on Bella, you must began to build up your strength and killing near every dear in the forest won't help you do this."

I didn't care for the words coming out of her mouth, she didn't know, she didn't know the intense feeling that was still burning the back of my throat. She didn't understand how I craved, how I needed to feel the animals heartbeat against my chest and its blood flowing in my mouth.

I tried to release myself from her grip again but it only made her pull on to my wrist harder. A growl began to build deeply in my chest, it threatened to come out. I tried unsuccessfully to release myself again.

"Let me go, you don't understand." My voice was filled with rage, it sounded dark, demonic even.

"Bella, you need to understand if I were to let you go right now you would never learn self control, you would kill everything you come in contact with, fight it, fight the monster inside of you; do not let it win."

Her words made sense, but I didn't want to listen. I needed to get back into the forest; I needed to feel that closeness that I had felt with the dear before as it laid dying in my arms.

I couldn't take it anymore; I needed to be let free. I ripped my hand away from Alice and took of back towards the forest, I could feel Alice behind me, she was gaining speed on me, but I couldn't let her catch me.

A strange feeling began to form in the pit of my stomach; it wasn't like any other I had ever felt before. There wasn't an ounce of pain but it still brought me to my knees. Then it started coming in flashes, pain, anger, danger, fear. I brought my knees up to my chest, the feeling was getting more intense now pain, anger, danger, fear.

I screamed and the trees shook and what contents they held scurried to other trees, or took to the skies. Alice was at my side in an instant, her small frame picking mine up as if I was a feather and then we were running.

The air stream seemed to give me some type of relief, but the feeling still remained and with each passing moment it was getting stronger and stronger.

I wanted to speak, to tell Alice what I felt but I could only mange to get a few words out. "Alice, danger, pain, fear, anger, please." My voice was pleading and pathetic. Nothing like the monstrous demon that I had heard echo off the trees only a few moments ago in the woods, this was something else.

Coherent thoughts could not pass through my body. The feeling of being exchanged in arms occurred and I tried to speak again yet all that came out was "Danger, pain, fear, anger, help please."

The sound of hectic breathing passed through my ears. The light footsteps of Carlisle approached my side and he gently took my hand.

"Bella what is happening, can you speak?"

My only response was "So much pain, anger, danger, fear, leave now."

I heard someone gasp in the room and Alice's voice come into focus "They know they know she isn't dead. I don't know how but they know, they will be here soon, we must leave."

"Pain, anger, danger, fear, leave now."

_  
The more we learn,  
the more we cry!  
How fast we burn!  
How fast we die!_

**A.N.: Song is Teen Angst by M83. Well, if you couldn't tell Bella's power is being discovered. I will update as soon as possible. Thanks for reading and review if you please.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N. Longest chapter so far, dances in computer chair. I hope you guys liked it, I wasn't so sure on the conversations but I felt it must occur eventually. I don't like this chapter. I have no clue why, I just don't. So I have officially figured out the ending and even started writing it. Trust me there is still more chapters to this, endings just come easier to me. Anyways you guys will either love me or hate me for it. : ) Enjoy reading, and review if you please. **

_And you are not wrong to  
Ask who does this belong to  
It belongs to all of us_

My surroundings were un-phased. The hollow words were still ringing in my ears. As time passed my chest became tighter and tighter the overwhelming feeling of suffocation was present.The world was swirling around, but there was nothing I could do. I tried again and again to warn them but I did not prevail. I was trapped, a prisoner in my own body.

I felt a swift burst of wind as Alice passed me by. Her hands were filled with boxes and as she passed by Emmett threw another box on top of hers it didn't even phase her. I saw glimpses of white silk sheets flowing through the air and landing on the delicate furniture. THey were packing, readying themselves for a speedy depature.

I wanted to close my eyes and imagine how the cool silk fabric would feel along my newly sensitive skin. Then something changed as a laid there, the feeling in my chest became more urgent, my mouth opened and I screamed. "Please leave now, danger, pain, anger, fear," my words echoed throughout the household.

I heard Alice's voice began shortly after mine, "We must go now. Leave everything."

The sound of boxes crashing into the wooden floor rang throughout my ears. I hadn't even been able to completely process the situation before I was gathered in Alice's arms and placed in the backseat of a car.

The sound of doors being shut all around me echoed through my ears. My head was lifted up and gently placed back down upon someone's lap. Their hands gently combed through my hair, I looked up to see Alice's face stone and impassive. Our eyes met and I saw the fear and disappointment that lay behind them.

"Bella it is going to be fine now. Everything will be okay." She closed her grief stricken eyes and leaned her head against the seats head rest, her hands never stopping the continuous combing of my hair.

I continued to look up at Alice and as night approached it began to cast shadows throughout the car.

The tightness in my chest began to loosen, the feeling of suffocation disappeared rapidly, and my temporary paralysis began to fade. I slowly moved my hand towards my face, the simple movement announced my awakening and I was suddenly in a rather tight embrace.

"Oh, I am so happy you are awake. I was so worried we were so worried, nothing like this has ever happened."

I sat up in the car, the tightness in my chest losing with every movement. Jasper was seated in the passenger seat next to Edward. I nodded to him in acknowledgement and leaned my forehead against the window. Alice with a smile plastered upon her face resumed her sleep like state and Jasper began to gaze out the window as well.

My eyes roamed to Edward. The moonlight gently cascading of his milky, white skin gave him the illusion of an angel. His hands were gripping the steering wheel while his eyes barely looked like they were observing the road. His hand began to twist the dial on the brightly lit radio. His eyes found the road again as we quickly approached a minivan and in one fluid moment we had passed them and resumed our position in the fast lane. I looked behind us to see a midnight black Mercedes and a blood red BMW do the same. The sound of the minivan driver complaining about spoiled, brat, rich kids was enough for a mile to play across my lips.

"So you do smile." My head snapped up so quick that a pop sounded off the interior of the car. "The reflexes will get easier it just takes sometime."

The car suddenly veered into the slow lane and took a sharp exit. My breathe hitched in my throat, Edward had lost his mind.

"What are you doing, aren't we going to crash?"

"Silly Bella Carlisle needs gas." I opened my mouth to ask how he had known that, but he beat me to it by pointing at his head.

"Plus I have never been in an accident before and even we were to crash the only thing that would be injured is my car." He flashed me a brilliant smile; his teeth glistened in the moonlight. He looked beautiful, stunning even.

The car came to a complete halt Jasper and Alice's eyes both flickered to each other. Edward gracefully slipped out of the driver's seat and agonizingly slow walked around the edge of the car. His eyes locked with mine, his bright red iris analyzing my every move. He flashed me another smile and turned to walk into the convenience store.

I started gasping for air my breathing came in short gasps. When did I stop breathing, was it possible that his smile had made me forget how to properly breathe? I looked up to see Alice and Jasper's eyes observing me with curiosity. Jasper's eyebrows were arched in a suggestive manner and Alice seemed to be smiling a bit larger than she was previously if it was even possible.

I opened the car door and stepped out quickly.

"Bella where are you going?"

"No where just need some fresh air." I replied politely as I shut the door. I walked away from the car slow enough to not be suspected, there wasn't anyone around but I still felt the need to be cautious.

The air flowed freely around. The scent of gasoline and pine needles filled my nostrils. I found a small stack of boxes and easily hoped onto the highest one. I dangled my legs over the edge, watching the shadows they produced against the buildings walls.

I looked over my shoulder to where the cars were being filled with gasoline. Edward was leaning against the edge of his car with his hands in his pockets and staring down at something. His hair hung loosely around his face. Ever once in a while a stray strand would get in his eyes and he would run his fingers through his hair.

I heard the click of the gas pumps signaling that all three cars were filled. I hoped down from the boxes and as my feet touched the concrete the lightest sound was made. Edward's face flickered to mine and I gave him a sheepish smile and then began to stare at the ground with no purpose. I looked at anything that would keep my eyes from wondering back to him

I reached the car to see Jasper sitting in the backseat next to Alice. I flashed both of them an understanding smile and climbed into the passenger's seat. As soon as I shut the door Edward quickly pulled out of the gas station and the feeling of lying over the road resumed. I took another quick stare at Edward. His eyes were completely on the road, as he gracefully shifted the gears. I willed my eyes to leave his body and glanced out the front window.

I began to loose myself to my thoughts. There were so many questions left unanswered so many things I still wanted to know. A musical voice broke my thoughtful reverie "What are you thinking?"

The answer left my mouth before I had time to properly think of an answer "I am thinking about the questions I still have."

He chuckled lightly "Well we have about another two hours before we get to Alaska, ask away."

"Are you sure, I don't want to be a bother."

"I am positive, plus I don't think you could ever be a bother." He flashed me another one of his brilliant smiles.

I took my time deciding what question to ask first.

"Well are you going to ask me one?" impatience was obviously evident in his voice.

I raised my hand signaling him to give me a minute. "When and where were you born?"

"Of all the things to ask," he muttered softly to himself, "Chicago, 1901."

"How old were you when you became this?"

"Seventeen."

"How does your mind reading work?"

"Well it depends on a few things. The more I am in tune with a person's mind the easier it is for me to hear there thoughts. Distance always plays a rather large part, it would be easier for me to hear Alice's or Jasper's thoughts from farther away then say a human who I have only glanced at."

"So do you always hear people?"

"It is like a low background hum, if there is a certain person I want to listen in on I just focus on them and their thoughts become louder. Of course there is an exception."

I smiled sheepishly "Does it bother you not being able to hear my thoughts."

"At first yes and there are some moments I wish I could know what is going on through your mind. Most people edit their thoughts, they are afraid of the other person's response if they completely speak what they are thinking. You however are just shocking, you don't take thing as a normal person would, and it is interesting. I have tried to read your facial expressions, but whenever I try to guess what it is I am always wrong. It is a weird feeling not being able to read your mind, a feeling I haven't had to experience for a long time."

"So what about the myths, garlic, stakes, crosses, coffins, sunlight, bats?"

"All false, although the sunlight does have an affect on us. I will take you out and show you when the sun is out."

The thought of being alone with Edward quickly crossed my mind, but I let the thought go easily. He couldn't possibly like someone like me.

"Have you always lived with Carlisle and Esme?"

His fingers instantly tightened on the steering wheel. "No, A few years, well a few years for us, I had a bit of a rebellious stage and lived on my own."

"Rebellious stage?"

"I drank from humans, I thought I was doing the world good getting rid of the bad, but it didn't matter what the person did I was no better than them, I was a murderer."

His words rang throughout the car. The Cullens were not monsters, they were good, that had all made past mistakes, but what is taking one life when they could have taken so many others.

"What are you thinking?"

"That we aren't monsters. That you aren't a monster, you have made some mistakes in your life but you thought what you were doing was for the better, " I paused briefly. "No, I don't think we are monsters at all."

"You never surprise me, forgiven me already after hearing I have taken so much innocence from the world."

"You said yourself they weren't innocent." A smirk played across his face.

"Yes, I did say that."

"Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

I reached my hand out and turned the radio on. The instant relaxing sounds of Clair de Lune reached my ears. I began to hum along quietly. The sound was beautiful, I had never had a great singing voice, but now it sounded like wind chimes hitting against each other from the wind.

"You know Debussy?" The look on his face was incredulous.

"My mom use to listen to it," I closed my eyes as the relaxation from the music took over.

"Do you play?"

"I can play a little here and there but nothing major, do you?"

"Yes, I have played for all my life. I will have to show you sometime."

"That would be great."

Silence once again consumed the car and with the sound of Debussy floating throughout the car, I felt relaxed as if I was near sleep. This would probably be the closest thing to sleep I would ever get, but it felt great, as if when I opened my eyes I would be rejuvenated.

"Where here." A voice whispered near my ear.

I opened my eyes to see a house that was gorgeous, but the thing that my eyes noticed first where the people standing on the porch. I opened my mouth to ask who they were, but Edward beat me to it again "They are the Denali Coven."

"Are you sure you can't read my mind" I asked jokingly.

"I am positive."

_Sunlight, opened up my eyes  
to see for the first time  
you'll open them up  
and tonight, rivers will run dry  
and not for the first time  
Rivers will run_

**A.N. Hope you guys liked it. Plot will be coming up rather soon. Lyrics are from Twisted Logic by Coldplay. Review if you please. Thanks.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Hi there. You guys can thank the following three people for this update; saranicole, who got the choice to decide what story I was going to update because her reviews always are constructive and make me smile, Annalia, who constantly lets me bounce ideas off her and yes cry, dance, cry, dance, and Addie W., who has accepted the rather large task of being my beta. So enjoy reading, and review if you please. **

**Disclaimer: I do now own Twilight or New Moon; all characters belong to the lovely Mrs. Stephenie Meyer. **

I stepped out in into the cool winter night. The sound of snow crunching beneath us and car doors shutting resonated off the surrounding trees.

A group of our kind stood upon the front steps of a rather large cabin. There were four women and one man. Every one of them was beautiful in their own way, whether it be the structure of their faces or the color of their hair; the beauty was truly intimidating.

"Ah, Carlisle, what do we owe this pleasure to?" A man asked curiously. His voice was soft and luxurious and held a slight tone of a Spanish accent.

Carlisle did not say anything but the man began to speak aloud again "Well, no matter the situation, please, come inside and out of the cold."

A female with light brown hair scoffed and muttered "As if we can get sick." The two other women beside her snickered quietly and proceeded to walk inside.

I followed the Cullens into the front door and the mere magnificent and beauty of the house made my eyes open wide with shock. The walls resembled logs to continue the theme of a cabin and the floor was coated with a plush, cream colored carpet. The lingering smell of pine and cedar came entered my nose.

Everyone began to walk through a rather large archway into a living room filled with couches the same cream color as the carpet that coated the floor. A fire crackled in the fire place and the sound was comforting some how. Everyone began to take seats and the man who spoke earlier sat down next to an older looking woman and grabbed her hand. Something bright and shiny caught the corner of my eye on her finger and I realized it was in face her wedding ring. The other three brown haired women took the love seat farthest from the fire. While Esme Carlisle, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice took the larger couch. I walked over to the only open seat, which was next to Edward, and sat on the far end of the couch.

After everyone seemed to be settled in the woman with the rather flashy ring spoke up. "Well Esme it is so nice to see you again. I will have to show you this new painting technique I discovered, it is absolutely beautiful."

I could see Esme's eyes instantly light up, "Why, I would love to see it sometimes Carmen."

So that was the flashy lady's name was Carmen. It fit her well. She looked like a Carmen, if it was possible.

Carlisle looked at me and began speaking immediately." I apologize for my rude behavior; Bella this is the Denali Coven. Eleazer," the man who spoke earlier smiled at me, "Carmen" she gave me another soft smile, "Tanya, Kate and Irina." At the mention of their names all three girls waved to me politely."

"Hello," I gave them my warmest smile, flashing my teeth and waving politely. I swore I could have heard Edward's breathe catch in his throat, but before I could investigate further the woman named Carmen spoke up.

"Welcome to our home Bella. You are welcome to stay as long as you need and anytime you want."

I would have blushed if possible. Carmen's kindness and open generosity surprised me.

"Thank you, I really appreciate the offer." I spoke softly and added in another polite smile, this time keeping my lips over my teeth.

The room was instantly filled with chatter as the two families immediately began catching up on old times.

I stayed quiet, not having much to contribute to their conversations. My eyes wandered to the fire place and I instantly became enticed by the glow of the flames. The look of the small flames devouring the piece of firewood was nothing short of entertaining. I felt a hand gently touch my shoulder and I jumped by surprise.

Edward's laughter ran throughout the room, "Lost in your thoughts. You do know that you seem to do that quite often."

He didn't mean for his words to be interpreted as in insult, but my face instantly turned in a scowl, "Well I have a lot to think about." My voice was much sharper than intended. I instantly felt sorry for my tone; there truly wasn't a need or reason for me to be snappy.

Surprisingly he took my sudden burst of attitude in stride. "Well then, perhaps I shall leave you be and you may find the guest room on your own." His faced seemed smug as if he was teasing me.

He stopped and I realized the living room was only occupied by him and me. I stood swiftly beside him and he raised an eyebrow to me, "Well are you going to show me to the guest room or are we going to stand here all night?"

He rolled his eyes at my obvious sarcasm but began to lead the way to a set of stairs. I followed him quickly, having to walk faster than him to match his stride. We walked side by side in silence. It was not an uncomfortable silence, nothing like the silence a person were to experience at the Doctor's office when the doctor. began to explain sex and the precautions to take while your mother was in the room. No, it was a fitting silence, a justified silence.

As we finished climbing the second set of stairs Edward led me to a rather large oak door.

"This will be the room you are staying in," Why doesn't he just point out the obvious, "I will be right across the hall." He pointed his finger over his shoulder to another large door. I nodded in understanding and quickly said goodnight.

The room was simple and plain. The walls were coated with a light sea green and a mural of the ocean was painted upon the walls. There was a four post bed in the center of the room with pillows that I would have loved to sleep on, if sleeping was possible. I spotted a door and quickly went to peak through it. It led into a bathroom with a rather large bathtub and sink. The bathtub looked like heaven and I quickly turned on the hot water. I placed my hand under to feel the temperature, but the water still felt ice cold. I turned the knob completely up until steam began to fill the bathroom. I reached my hand under the faucet again to discover that the water held just a hint of warmth. This obviously had something to do with my new found existence, so I choose to ignore it and walked to the bedroom door and locked it. As I walked back through the bathroom I began to peel of my clothing. Out of habit I sniffed them to see if they needed to be washed, only to be surprised that they smelled like freesia.

I folded the clothes neatly on the floor and proceeded back into the bathroom. The room was completely filled with steam, and if not for my new found vision it would have been hard to spot the bathtub in the large room. I slowly lowered my body into the tub and I instantly felt better. I felt my muscles relax and I slipped father into the bathtub, the water reaching to the tip of my chin. I slid completely under the water getting my hair wet and then I went to work scrubbing various chemicals all over my body and through my hair. I had just released the drain and began to towel dry myself off when I heard a knock at my room door.

I quickly threw my clothes I had already worn back onto my body and opened the door. Alice stood before me a sly smile upon her lips. Her hands were filled with various kinds of shopping bags and several shoe boxes. She danced her way into my room and laid her arms' contents on my bed.

"Alice, what is all this?"

"Well, I saw," she pointed at her forehead, "a new female family member coming and I couldn't help myself. So I bought this for you." She flashed me a brilliant smile.

I gawked at her; she must have lost her mind, these clothes were so expensive. I could barely even pronounce the names on the fronts of the flashy bags, "Alice, I am sorry but I cannot accept this. I really would prefer if you didn't spend money on me."

"Nonsense," She turned her back to me and began to dig through a solid gold bag with a metallic G on the front. "Here, put this on and meet me downstairs in fifteen minutes." She threw me a pair of black jeans and a beige turtleneck sweater.

"Where are we going in fifteen minutes?"

"To play outside in the snow, silly," Her voice was teasing.

"But what if I don't like the snow? It is cold and icky."

"Don't be difficult, Bella, everyone loves the snow. Now put the clothes on and meet me downstairs in fifteen minutes." She rushed out of the room before I could open my mouth properly to protest again. Stupid inhuman speed.

I looked at the outfit in my hands skeptically. The sweater and jeans seemed to be awfully small. I had always been rather thin, but these sizes were stretching it. I laughed silently to myself. For a vampire that had a gift of seeing the future, you would think that Alice would have seen how ill fitting these clothes were going to be.

I sighed and gently began the attempt to bring the pants over my legs. To my extreme surprise they slid up easily. They weren't tight as expected; they only hugged my curves and then flowed easily around my legs. I pulled on my turtleneck and instantly felt the smooth caress of the cashmere against my skin. The feeling was like none I had every felt before. I could feel every string, every thread that held the sweater together. I sighed, so maybe Alice did had have some type of clue as to what I should wear.

I began digging through the bags too and found a bag filled with hair products and accessories - she really did think of everything. I plugged in a rather complicated and expensive looking blow dryer and began the process of blow dying my hair. After I was positive it was pin straight I pulled it up into a high ponytail and didn't bother trying to contain the few strands of hair I could feel tickling my face.

I walked back into the bathroom to check my appearance and a shocked look adorned my face. The changes in my body and my face were not drastic. My hair was silkier and held a shine that one would only see on a commercial for hair care products, my skin had paled even more, if it was at all possible, and my face was more angular and chiseled. It no longer held the traces of round cheeks and baby fat.

I tore my eyes away from the mirror and walked back into what could be considered my room. I pulled a pair of matching beige snow boots from a shoe box and headed my way downstairs.

Everyone else was already downstairs, exciting and anticipating chatter filled the room. "Okay, now that everyone is here," Alice through a glance my way and I smiled sheepishly, "I see a rather large storm coming our way." The excited look on everyone's face grew larger. "So I figure we have about two to three days of playing time."

Emmett let out a rather loud woo hoo, which was quickly followed by a glare from Rosalie and a snicker from Jasper. Excited chatter began to fill the air about what games should be played and what teams people should be on.

As everyone started to file out of the house into the already beginning snow storm, I lingered behind, still standing near the fireplace. I was not a very graceful person and anything that had to do with physical involvement people should automatically count me out.

"Why aren't you so eager to join the fun and games?" Edward asked.

"Ha, I don't think any of you guys want me to join the fun and games. I have never been rather graceful," I admitted sheepishly. "You wouldn't be asking me that question if you had ever seen me in gym class."

He chuckled lightly. "Well, if you aren't going to have fun, what are you going to do?"

"Oh, I am going to have fun, just not the type of fun that involves any type of competition."

"Really, and what type of fun would that be?"

"I think I will take a walk through the forest." I hadn't actually planned to take a walk through the forest but the idea came to me suddenly and I felt the need to explore my surroundings.

"Well, you wouldn't mind if I accompanied you?"

"Are you sure you want to, I am sure my walk through the forest won't be nearly as entertaining as being in some type of competition with your family."

"I can compete with them anytime." He smiled a breath catching smile.

My voice was suddenly stuck in my throat, "Well… then lead the way."

**A/N: Hope you guys liked it, review if you please. Thanks. Oh by the way I have figured out the plot thanks to Annalia and it is killer let me tell you. **


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N: This is short and way too overdue. I just recently found out that I don't in fact have cancer which erases a lot of stress, trust me. So, now that I have stopped getting those pounding headaches, I am going to set up a fictionpress account. The link will be in my profile soon. Hope you guys enjoy. Thanks for reading, and review if you please. **

**By the way, thanks Addie W. for being my beta. Yah, now I don't have to read my own mistakes. **

**Note from Annilaia: She's also like to thank me for being the way awesome friend I am and posting this for her while she is away. Never mind the fact that I just polluted her a/n. hahaha...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or New Moon, and all characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. **

The cool night air surrounded us. I shivered - the weather wasn't having an affect on my body temperature, but I had been under Edward's intense gaze since we had entered the woods. If I was human then I was sure my cheeks would have been flooded with red.

"Do you like to walk in the woods by yourself?" His smooth voice broke the silence.

_"No," _A clean, simple answer is what I really wanted to say. However, when I opened my mouth it more or less become a flood gate. "Well, no, not really… I mean, well, yes. Sometimes I just walk by myself when I have a lot of thoughts on my mind."

"So do you have a lot on your mind?"

"Yeah, just a little."

"A penny for your thoughts?" He stopped walking and motioned to a moss covered log. I sat down effortlessly and began to fiddle with the snow on the ground, drawing small lines and designs.

"Well, I just really miss my family, you know?" I was almost positive he had probably experienced the same loss as I had. "I mean, I do miss them, but I also feel guilty. Guilty that I am leaving them to worry about me when I am still walking around, guilty that I won't ever get to be there for another birthday or holiday. Those times were really special to me, and now I won't get to have them again. To be quite honest, I can't even remember the last thing I said to him or my mom. What kind of person am I that I can't even remember?" I could feel the familiar feeling of my throat closing up, the air getting constricted and not wanting to leave my body at all. I wanted to cry; I needed to let out some of the emotion that was building behind my false facade.

I felt an arm pull me into a strong chest, and at first I stiffened, but relaxed when I heard Edward began to hum a song quietly. His breathing was even and rhythmic. He didn't speak, allowing me time to recompose myself.

"You must think I am an idiot," I admitted shakily.

"No, you obviously don't see yourself very clearly." I looked up into his eyes to see many different emotions. I had never seen him so open before, so willing to allow me in. "I am sorry, Bella, I am so sorry that I took this away from you, everything away from you. You deserve so much more. You should hate me, yet you sit here. You sit here telling me your feelings, allowing me to be near you." He tore his gaze away from mine and began to stare up at the stars above.

I waited a moment, not wanting to be the person who broke the tense silence between us.

"You obviously don't see yourself very clearly either." Oh, great, of all things to say. You could not have thought of any comforting words, could you Bella? Nope, of course not, that would have been too easy.

He turned back, his eyes locking onto mine, and before I knew what was happening he was so close, his breath tickling the tip of my nose and my mouth. I closed my eyes, relishing in his scent, allowing all my senses to just be overpowered and overwhelmed. I wanted to reach out. I wanted to touch him. I wanted to feel his lips pressed against mine.

"Bella." His voice was low and soft.

"Edward." My own was breathless and fuzzy.

I felt his forehead press against mine, his cool breath igniting my body on fire. I leaned forward a little bit more and our lips finally met. I felt blood race through my veins, and my mind was reeling. A feeling began to build in the pit of my stomach, and I wanted nothing more than to feel his fingers touching my body. I put my arms around his neck and pressed my body farther into his. I twisted so that I was straddling his legs. I felt bold, empowered, but at the same time I needed this. I wanted this. My body craved to be under his touch. Our lips never parted, the wind blew again, tickling my face and wrapping us in a curtain of my hair. I could feel Edward's hands on me, drawing hypnotic figures on my side. Every place he touched burned and felt like pure ecstasy.

I pulled our lips apart and my head rest against his again. "Edward." My voice sounded weak and uneven.

"Bella."

The wind blew in my direction, and Edward and I tensed at the same time. The familiar feeling rushed through my body again. Danger. Pain. Heartache. Fear. Leave now.

**A/N: It's spring break, and I should write more now that I have the free time to do so. I Hope you guys enjoyed, although it was short. Thanks, Review please. **


	8. Chapter 8

_My eyes are on you they're on you  
And you see that I can't stop shaking  
No, I won't step back but I'll look down to hide from your eyes  
'cause what I feel is so sweet and I'm scared that even my own breath  
Oh could burst it if it were a bubble  
And I'd better dream if I have to struggle  
So I put my arms around you around you  
And I hope that I will do no wrong  
My eyes are on you they're on you_

I could feel it pulsating through by body with adrenaline and fear, the feeling is hard to explain. The moment in which everything seems frozen, when my body is trying to forewarn me of certain dangers. I could hear Edward's voice in the distance and I just wanted to tell him to run, to get away as far as possible because this thing was coming, I could feel it. This thing that was going to tear us apart, that was going to tear his family apart was coming soon and I just wanted to run away. I just wanted to get as far away as possible, to not have to live through a moment where something that tortuous could come true, but with a shift of the wind I knew we had no chance. There was no way that we were going to get away; we would have to face it, whatever this problem was head on.

I could only explain what my body was going through as an out of body experience. My thoughts were cluttered, my body was shivering, my voice was speaking but it was not my own and Edward was there trying to comfort me, trying to break me out of the spell, the threshold that takes over, but nothing was working. I could see the light of panic in golden eyes. The way they showed and expressed so much. Sadness, guilt, anger, fright.

I just wanted to yell out at him that I was fine that it was his family that he should be worried about but he remained near me slowly brushing stray hairs out of my face, keeping my body pressed closely into his, waiting for it to pass, waiting for me to come out the darkness.

I was almost there too, my breathing had become easier, my thoughts clearer. I was not spouting random bits of warnings and the raw scratchy feeling that resided in the back of my throat was not calling to me, for once since I was turned it was not lurking in the depths of my mind waiting to bait me into a world of murder and pain. However, when I was so close that I could almost feel it, almost touch this feeling the wind shifted and I was hit harder than ever. Convulsions rocked my body and my mind went reeling. The burning sensation was too much to handle I just wanted to do something, anything to get it to go away. I went to raise my hand to my throat but there was nothing; it didn't move it just laid there limply surrounded my Edward's arms as he attempted to whisper words into my ears.

"Bella it will be okay. Calm down Bella please, Carlisle will be here soon. Please Bella be okay, please."

His voice was so weakened nothing like that I heard at other times. His words were soft and sincere, their meaning carrying strong and yet it pained me to hear his pain. I was there; I just needed him to see it. I could hear him, I could see him, and I could feel the contours of his body pressed against mine. I just wanted to tell him please, Edward just hear me. I am still here, the same Bella is still waiting underneath this all for you.

As we lay there in the trees the moments seemed to pass by slowly. The feeling of Edward's fingers running through my hair, the wind picking up the scent that had rendered me useless, the faint sound of footsteps approaching, of people whispering. I could tell from the concerned tones they must be Edward's family. No one else even knew that I was alive nether the less cared about what happened to me.

I felt my weight shift beneath me and looked up to see a mop of curly hair starring back down at me. I hated it. I felt weak, I felt useless. As if his family had not had to suffer enough when I made them leave their home in Forks, now they had to deal with this. Couldn't I ever be normal, did I have to be weird in every single way?

The wind shifted again and I could make out the high pitched sound of Alice's voice.

"They are here early Edward. I am sorry I wasn't paying attention. I was to busy trying to see if we were going to get caught if someone was going to notice all of us missing that I almost missed it." Her voice was so small and broken.

A fearful growl emitted through the trees "Alice no!"

"But Edward there is no other way. Do you not trust your family members do you have so little faith in our abilities."

The rumbling sound made another appearance. "Alice no I can't let her go, I can't leave her. Look at her she needs me." He sounded defeated and worn.

"Edward, I know but please just trust me this is the only way."

A decision must have been made because I felt my weight shift again as if I was being given off to another person.

"Alice I am trusting you take care of her please. We will call you as soon as we get information."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

A soft female voice came into the clearing. "I already ordered plan tickets. I know it doesn't seem conventional but I figured you guys should go back to Forks, it would be the last place someone would think of finding you now."

I felt a small peck against my cheek and Edward's eyes locked with mine. I wanted to yell, I wanted to cry. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to be there in his arms, but I was stuck frozen. I couldn't break free no matter how hard I tried and I felt the burning feeling in my throat climbing, choking me leaving no room to breathe and I just wanted to cry, to bawl my eyes out to release all of the hurt feelings. It hurt to be away from him, with ever step we took the restrictions on my body loosened but the pain that I felt was unlike any other.

**A/N: I am alive; yes I know it has been a while. I am officially done with this year of school yah for me! Anyways I hope you guys didn't forget about me and I know this is a weird chapter I am not even sure it is my usual writing style but I wanted to get something out and just after sitting this is what I came up with. I also would like to apologize for my weird absence. So I am sorry for that and I hope I can update soon. Enjoy reading and review if you please. **

**Foreverinlove17, Sasha. Oh by the way CHECK OUT MY FICTIONPRESS ACCOUNT and um... The song is called Dancing by Elisa, they did a dance to it on so you think you can dance it is worth the watch.**


	9. Chapter 9

Hey you guys,

Now before you all get pissed at me because I am sure you all were thinking wow she finally updated, hear me out. Writing has begun to feel something like a chore instead of an enjoyment. Before I had so much going on in my life, so many pent up emotions and frustrations that it just all came out on paper and now that the school year is over, my dad is now back from Afghanistan, I do not have breast cancer, and my mom does not have breast cancer I am feeling pretty stress free. Most people would be like well shouldn't that make you want to write, well I am weird and the opposite has occurred. So since things are going right I can't really wrap my mind around a writing perspective and therefore whatever I write, excuse my language, is complete and utter shit! Thank you guys for the unwavering support you have shown for me. I really do appreciate it. Now on to my stories, yah!

For **Couldn't let go: **I am going to take down chapter eight and rewrite it. I don't know what in my right mind actually made me post that but it wasn't one of my best ideas. _**So do not fear all stories will continue**_ and this is just giving you guys a warning as to why my updates have been so nonexistent. Don't worry before I disappear for a good while I am going to update both stories at least one more time. This story will be updates before Impending because I updated impending most recently. Any who moving on to **Impending, **this story just like couldn't let go will continue. I just need a little time. I am fairly happy with that story and I have most of it mapped out and ready to be completed just everything I write I think to myself that it sounds to forced and phony. However this does mean that for the time being I am going to list the stories as on Hiatus hopefully I will be back sooner than later. Anyways, I am off now to finish working and then I have to go to a friend's party. Please if anyone has any questions as to my stories or info about when I coming back just let me know. Thanks for reading this monstrous Author's Note.

Sincerely, Sasha.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I am back! So I actually really like the first and second paragraph of this chapter. I don't know why I just do. The first better than the second but anyways its short I know. There will be more.**

Sorry about all gramatical mistakes. There are most likely a ton but hey my BETA has gone MIA, plus I just really wanted to get this up for you guys. All characters belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer, I only use them to write with. : )

_It's not even light out  
Suddenly…oh, you've somewhere to be.  
No hesitation…oh, I've never seen you like this.  
You're scaring me…you're scaring me…you're scaring me…to death._

_ - The Moment I said it by Imogen Heap_

**Chapter 9:**

I was embarrassed, upset, my mind was racing and my throat was contracting. The loud hum of the plane was so loud I felt as if was drowning, slowly pulling over and letting it clear my mind of the thoughts that were laying there dormant; The thoughts that continued to play in a cycle; turning my insides haunting my breath as they continue to race. I couldn't help but feel weak and useless. I was putting Edward and his family in harms ways. They were out there facing danger because I had to be messed up, because I couldn't find a way to stop that feeling. The feeling that comes and crawls and creeps up my skin swallowing me whole; suffocating me until I can't feel; I can't breathe.

I felt Alice's cool palm brush against mine and as much as the feeling comforted me it only made my pain worst. I took her away from Jasper. I took her away from her family so that she could fly with me back to Forks, back to what was suppose to be home. A part of me ached to see Charlie; to see my room the rocking chair in the corner, the ancient beast of a computer sitting on the desk. I wanted to ruin my fingers over the cool surface of the wood; bury my face deep into the scent of my sheets and cling to them and never let go.

As much as I was feeling towards Edward I still didn't know him and he didn't quite now me. I was thrown into this situation of life and I found a comfort in him knowing that he was also alone in the family. I found a comfort knowing that he appeared to care for me back; that my attention wasn't unrequited.

The stewardess voice came over the intercom; it was calm and mechanical like she had repeated the statement for the thousandth time in her life and she wanted to break free and just flee. I heard the landing gear grinding out of its compartment and as we lowered for landing I waited for the feeling that my stomach was currently located in my throat but it never came. Was this just something else I lost with being a vampire; something else that was gone and couldn't be retrieved?

The walk in the airport was quiet and calm. I don't believe Alice and I had spoken one word since the plane took off, we communicated through body language. She steered me towards a desk and began speaking to a small, but plump man behind the counter. He was gone in minutes. His eyes were misty and heavy. His breathing slow and even; he was even subconsciously leaning towards her. The exchange was quick, a slash of a credit card, a fake promising smile and were on our way to Forks.

I don't know why I expected the Cullens' house to be different this time around. We had only be gone for a possibly a week or two weeks tops. When we approached the house a note was tapped to the front door. It was damp as if it had survived the rain. The smudges of ink ran together smashing words, making them loose their meaning and purpose.

_To whom this may Concern:_

_When the opportunity arises I would love for our family to come to the station for a chat. They will be no arrest made. We have some questioning and we are hoping you will be able to provide the answers. _

_Chief Deputy, Charlie Swan. _

The fragile piece of paper crumbled in my fingers as I brought it closer to my nose. My eyes closed shut and I could still smell the faint traces of him on it. I didn't want him to worry. I didn't want him to think that I was lying dead in a ditch somewhere alone, cold, and forgotten.

I looked to Alice and by the expression on my face she knew what I was thinking. Who knows maybe she had a vision of me seeing him, of the look on his face if I walked into the living room. "Bella it won't work. I am sorry. I know how much you want to see him. I am so sorry it had to work out this way, but you can't. It won't do you any good to see him. There is to much explaining to do, to many discrepancies that could blow our cover. Humans are not allowed to know and if someone found out that Charlie knew he could be severe danger."

I wanted her warning to fall on deaf ears. I wanted to ignore it and just run to see him. Tell him I loved him one last time. Tell Renee all those things that were left unsaid. Instead I turned and looked at Alice and then headed towards the woods.

"Bella where are you going?'

"Hunting."

_Just put back the car keys…or somebody's gonna get hurt.  
Who are you calling at this hour  
Sit down, come round, I need you now.  
We'll work it all out, together.  
But we're getting nowhere tonight.  
Now sleep, I promise it'll all seem better…somehow…in time._

_-The Moment I said it by Imogen Heap_

**A/N: Reviews please?** **The lyrics might not make since now but the will next chapter. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Read. Thanks you guys for all the love and support of this story. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything. Everyone belongs to Stephenie Meyer**

**Thanks Addie for being my Beta **

_But it won't get any harder  
And I hope you'll find your way again  
And it won't get any higher  
But it all boils down to what you did then_

There is something about hunting, about the smells, the nights sky, the way it engulfs me, holding my tight, making me feel secure yet trapped at the same time, that completely excites me. Any normal person would probably feel disgust or remorse, but when you hunt all you can feel is this lust, this hunger, this great craving, this absolute need. Once that smell so sweet, so dangerous, swirls around you, clouding your brain, clouding your thoughts, you're lost. There is no way to stop. It is pure, unadulterated need.

I knew the moment that I stepped into the forest that something was different. The air was tainted with something I had never smelled before. My senses were going crazy. The fog that clouded my mind when I began to hunt slowly began to crawl into my body. I could feel it gripping me, taking over my mind, my eyes, and my emotions. I had lost all control.

Before I knew it, I was running. My throat was burning. The fire was beckoning for some type of relief, something that would send the fire back into manageable control… and then I smelled it again. That tainted smell that made the flames roar and drove my senses wild. I needed it. I wanted it. I craved it. I had to find it. I must find it. The pain continued to build. The need seemed immeasurable, and then suddenly there it was before me.

The haze was so thick with want and need I couldn't even see. I just wanted. I could feel my teeth tear into the flesh. I could hear the screams that came from the mouth, but I didn't care because it tasted so good. I could feel the flames cooling and receding. I could feel the heavy fog lifting and even when the pain was gone I didn't let go. I wanted it all. I felt the hands pressing against me struggling, pulling at me to let go. I could hear the heart pumping, slower, slower, slower, until there was nothing and the only thing was my breath, heavy and ragged.

I opened my eyes to look at my prey, and when I saw his face twisted with fear, twisted with pain, I screamed. He looked so young… so helpless. His black hair was sprawled out across his shoulders, his long hands clenched into fists… and then I heard it. A name being called, its sound traveling to my ears by the wind, I could hear the faint whispers of voices, the soft pounding of feet against the ground.

I looked back down at this boy, this life that I had stolen for selfish reasons, and I did the only thing I could do. I ran. I ran as fast as my legs would let me go. Leaves brushed and ripped at my clothes in skin. Mud and dirt flew up and attached themselves to my clothing and hair, but I didn't stop–I just kept running.

When I finally reached the edge of the forest I saw Alice standing there, her face filled with sadness and grief. She took one look at me and simply asked, "Bella, what have you done?"

I wanted to give her an answer. I wanted to explain to her. The smell I felt, the drive, the thrill of the kill; but I couldn't, even when I opened my mouth to tell her, my throat constricted, encasing the words in my mouth like a tomb.

I heard it again, the name being called in the wind, and by the way Alice's ears twitched I knew she had heard it too.

"Come on Bella, we have to get going."

I looked up at her. She looked so sad, so helpless, as if I had just stripped some form of happiness from her. As if I had completely stolen it from inside of her heart, her soul.

"Alice, I am so sorry." The words were hard to speak, for every time I could feel my heart constricting more, tightening into a grip that would not allow me to speak the truth.

"Everyone makes mistakes Bella, everyone makes mistakes."

I looked at her, her eyes alert, "Will we be okay?"

"I honestly don't know Bella, but we have to go now." I saw her head whipping around to the spot of the forest from which I had just come. The pounding was getting louder; the distinct sound of male voices rang out of the forest. A sound so loud, so powerful… so angry… pierced the silence, and the last thing I heard before Alice took my hands and broke out into a run was the name one more time.

"_Jake!"_

_Disappointment you shouldn't have done  
You couldn't have done  
You shouldn't have done  
The things you did then  
And we could've been happy  
What a piteous thing, a hideous thing  
Was tainted by the rest_

**Before you guys ask… Jake is human he is not a werewolf yet.. just thought I would clarify**

**If you saw that coming then you're flipping amazing. Any questions leave me a review and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Thanks again you guys. The lyrics are from "Disappointment" by The Cranberries, give it a listen.**

**Foreverinlove17**


	12. Chapter 12

_It's been a while  
Since I could hold my head up high  
and it's been a while  
Since I first saw you  
It's been a while  
since i could stand on my own two feet again  
and it's been a while  
since i could call you  
But everything I can't remember as fucked up as it may seem  
the consequences that I've rendered  
I've stretched myself beyond my means_

_It's Been A While – Staind _

**I don't own the characters, Stephanie Meyer does. **

**Thanks to Addie for betaing for me like always. **

There is something about taking someone else's life that is so powerful, so enticing. Even now, as I sat in the car with Alice and she put miles between what I had done, what I had taken, I could still remember everything that I did.

There was the moment when the warmth of his blood seeped into my palm, when I could feel his heartbeat slowing beneath my finger tips. During that moment I felt amazing, like I was floating on a high that would never end. I loved it. I loved that feeling so much that my mind wouldn't let me forget about it; my body was singing and calling for another taste of it.

Alice kept staring at me out of the side of her eyes like any moment now I was going to open the door and tear into the nearest human. I could lie and say that this wasn't a tempting idea, that my mind hadn't crossed the idea of possibly abandoning my diet and going on a more natural course, but then I would hear his voice in my ears. I would hear the people who had obviously loved him calling his name in the woods and I couldn't.

I didn't want to be any more of a monster than I already was. I felt so ashamed that when Alice said we were going to go meet up with the others I could barely look her in the eye. Would they hate me too? I had obviously just ruined a place that to them was so special that they called it home. What about Edward? Would he still want to kiss me like he did that night out in the forest, now that he could still taste the sweet blood of a human on my tongue?

Alice pulled the car to a halt on the edge of a forest, the trees looming ahead of us. I couldn't help but wonder why, of all places, would she bring me back to a forest. My hunger was satiated for now. The burning and fire in my throat had receded.

"Alice..." I started.

"Not now Bella. Give me a moment."

Her tone of voice stung, but I shut up anyways. She had a right to be angry with me; after all, I had put her in this situation. She reclined her seat all the way back and put her fingers to her temples, rubbing in slight circles. She looked completely relaxed and serene… and then it happened. Her body just froze. Her fingers stopped moving, her breath hitched, and her muscles seized.

I waited, waited for her to give me some type of reaction, waited to see if there was something wrong with her that I needed to fix. I vaguely remembered Edward telling me that this was how Alice's power worked. That she went into a trance, just like myself, that she couldn't be pulled until her vision was done.

I waited for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only a few moments. When she came back from it she rubbed her temples gently with her fingers and turned towards me.

"Come on, we have to move. They will be here soon."

I couldn't help but wonder who they were. Where they the family members of this person whose life I had taken or were they the people who would no longer want to call me one of their own? I was scared to go with Alice because I didn't want to know what was going to happen in the end. I didn't want to have to stand the rejection of Edward and his family after I had been dealt the cards of this new life.

I followed Alice through the clearing slowly. We weren't moving fast, but we weren't moving slow enough for humans to keep up with us either. The trees brushed gently against my skin; they felt so soft like silk.

Alice stopped moving, her hands going up in a silent signal for me to stop too. I strained my ears to listen, to hear what she thought she had heard. I looked at her strangely.

"Sorry, I thought I heard something," she said softly, her voice barely audible.

"Who are we waiting for?" I asked quietly.

"Our family." She replied and gave me a small grin.

"Our family?" I asked incredulously.

She shot me a cross look. "Of course our family Bella, who else would I be talking about?"

I looked at her baffled for a moment. "You mean you guys would still want me to be included in your family after what I've just done?"

"Bella, we all make mistakes. This lifestyle that we have chosen isn't the easiest of paths and we all know that. There have been times when certain members have floundered against our morals or completely thrown them away all together. I am not saying this is going to be easy because it's not, especially now that you've had a taste of our real food."

I stood next to her, absorbing her words, letting them seep all the way into my body, all the way to the soles of my feet.

"I... really want to be a part of your family Alice. It's just…" I started, but trailed off. "its just hard, you know? I've left everything behind. I don't have my mom anymore. I don't have Charlie anyone. Hell, I can't even fully have my own identity anymore, and for that one moment when his blood touched his lips, when he was begging me to stop, I felt whole." I turned and looked at her directly in the eyes, "Does that make me a monster? I feel like one. What type of person…" I scoffed at my own words and revised my sentence, "_thing_ am I, that I enjoy inflicting so much pain on others?"

"Bella you're not a monster, it's who we are. By choosing to do what we do, we are fighting against every cell in our body. We aren't suppose to do this. We aren't suppose to tempt ourselves and endanger our secret or all the humans every day, but that's who we are. We can't imagine moving everyday because we are suspected of some murder, some crime. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, that one day you will wake up and you won't crave blood and you won't want to feel that amazing feeling, but it won't go away. You just have to fight it."

I felt Alice's hand wrap around my own; our pale fingers glittering against the sunlight that was poking through the trees.

"Where are we?" I asked, choosing to change the subject for at least a moment.

She lets go of my hand and in a flash was in the center of the field. "Welcome to Cullen Stadium."

"Cullen Stadium?"

"Yes, this is where we go when we lived in Forks and wanted to play baseball or football or just be rowdy. We are so far back in the woods that no one will come and bother us. Out here it is a lot easier to just be ourselves."

I smiled at Alice as she twirled around in a circle. Her skirt was flapping around her small pale ankles, her hands raised towards the sky, her skin glistening like a gem. She looked like an angel. She was something so small, so innocent, that no one would ever think she had the ability to kill someone with the palm of her hand. No one would think that she had the ability to pick up a car and throw it over her head like some super hero.

"Come on Bella, join me! We have a while before they'll get here."

So I walked towards her in the middle of the field. Our hands intertwined as I reached her side and we she spun me around with her, with the sun beating down on us, warming our skin. After a few moments Alice laid down and patted the spot next to her.

"It will all be okay Bella, it will all be okay."

I nodded my head without looking at her. My eyes slid shut on their own accord and that's where we sat, waiting for our family to come join us.

_And it's been awhile  
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted  
And it's been awhile  
Since I can say I love myself as well  
And it's been awhile  
Since I've gone and fucked things up just like I always do  
And it's been awhile  
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you_

**She returns! I am back.. sorta? Updates maybe be slow. I am still getting my Twilight legs back here. I think my writing has changed since… previous writing. I have kinda found my own niche, my own little style. So I am sorry for those who don't like this new improved (I think) writing Sasha, but I hope you guys will stay for the conclusion of the story. There are only like two chapters left or something like that... possible sequel... if I want to get into the endeavor. **

**Thanks for reading. Review if you please. **


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